Reviewing The Shallows

Summer is standing at our threshold and we all know what that means: Sun, fun and at the beach. This also means that all the movie theaters will be packed with summer hit wonders, not to mention Blake Lively’s The Shallows, which we are gonna talk about today.

We have heard the storyline before: Gorgeous girl finds paradise in a secluded beach, which of course turns into her worst nightmare. While surfing her last surf, Lively gets knocked off her board and viciously attacked by a Jaws-sized shark. Now she must survive by clinging on to a rock with a painful shark bite on her leg, while the tide and time is against her as the shark waits in the shallows for its next opportunity to attack. Things will get hot, things will get heavy and things will get a tad bizarre.

If there is one thing you absolutely need to know before reading this review, it is that I am obsessed with sharks. In truth, it is my guilty pleasure and when Shark Week rolls around, I am plastered to the TV. Ultimately, my obsession is a struggle between being too fascinated to look away and too terrified to see anything. So what I am trying to say is this: For me, The Shallows pretty much sums up all the reasons why I refuse to go into deep dark waters – even the shallow kinds. The reasons are that the ocean contains:

  • Crazy ass killer sharks with a taste for blood (dah!) and an intelligence that surpasses my own (this particular shark, and surely every other shark on the planet I’m sure – smart beasts)
  • Dead rotten whales the size of the Eiffel Tower, and God knows what ells has died in there
  • Stinging jellyfish and not to mention burning reeves
  • And ultimately, insanely beautiful women in bikini making me never wanna put on a bikini ever again

But all the reasons why I stay away from the deep dark blue, is also what makes The Shallows a somewhat fine shark movie.

In The Shallows, Lively gets the opportunity to occupy the big screen throughout the entire film singlehandedly, with only the exception of five guys (spoiler alert: three of them become shark food). However, this puts some pressure on the blond haired beauty, and I am sorry to report that she did not live up to the standards. I have been a fan of the long-legged blond since her debut in The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants, and that is why I know she could do way better than her performance in this movie. But hey, if your co-star is a psychotic and not to mention animated shark, I guess you don’t have much to work with.

The Shallows is filled with or rather based on unrealistic and utterly ridicules situations throughout the entire movie, the main one being the intelligence of the killer beast. However, looking past that, the thing that bothered me most about the film is how it starts the plot altering moment. What I mean is, Lively is determined to go one more round and all of a sudden P-U-F there is a huge dead whale, and P-U-F P-U-F an equally huge shark attacks. I am not against a bit of imagination, but I am pretty sure a dead whale doesn’t just come out of nowhere. And another thing, which I think every sport enthusiast know, is; stop while you are ahead and do not go for the final round, because this is when you will trip and fall and break your neck. Or in this instance, be attacked by a shark to play cat and mouse with for the next hour. Ultimately, she brought it on herself.

All in all, I’ll give the film 2 out of 5 stars. I mean, if you check your brain and common sense at the door, I think The Shallows is not an absolute waist of time. It managed to make me sting my eyes shot, cover my ears to watch the remainder of the film in silence and jump in my seat. As such, it is no Jaws, but definitely a worth the while shark movie.


2 thoughts on “Reviewing The Shallows

    1. Thank you!

      I know, right? But like I wrote, check your brain and common sense at the door, and you’ll be fine. It’s not a bad movie at akk and its definitely not a snoozefest either. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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